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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25016944">Trust Is Difficult</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rox_fanfics/pseuds/rox_fanfics'>rox_fanfics</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Not A Girlfriend [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Artist Steve Rogers, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bucky Barnes-centric, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, How Do I Tag, Hurt Bucky Barnes, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers is Not Captain America, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:28:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,421</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25016944</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rox_fanfics/pseuds/rox_fanfics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re not going to touch him,” Soldat said, almost threatened, giving Tony the death glare he had been perfecting for decades. </p><p>Tony rolled his eyes, a little on edge, “Obviously not, executioner, I’m with Pepper. I’m just saying, you got a nice one,”</p><p>“Good,” James said, returning to the punching bag and breaking the hook within the first three punches, the bag making a dent as it hit the wall. </p><p>Bucky Barnes didn’t trust them</p><p> </p><p>OR: How Bucky Barnes starts to trust the Avengers one by one.</p><p>~</p><p>This is part of a series. Reading them in order is strongly recommended.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes &amp; Avengers Team, James "Bucky" Barnes &amp; Steve Rogers &amp; Avengers Team, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Not A Girlfriend [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805596</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>353</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Trust Is Difficult</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I CAN'T SLEEP SO HERE'S A STORY</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“So, Soldat, how’s Steve?” Tony asked casually during a training session. You could almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>hear </span>
  </em>
  <span>Soldat closing off from them as Tony asked the question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” he huffed out, doubling his assault on the punching bag. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony looked at him a rolled his eyes, “Of course he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, why else would you be dating him,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat stopped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turned around to face Tony, expression murderous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you just say?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony raised an eyebrow, “I said that he was fine, as in good looking. Look, Mr. Murder, I’m in a committed relationship, but I can see when people are attractive. Steve’s got that hipster look going for him-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not going to touch him,” Soldat said, almost threatened, giving Tony the death glare he had been perfecting for decades. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony rolled his eyes, a little on edge, “Obviously not, executioner, I’m with Pepper. I’m just saying, you got a nice one,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” James said, returning to the punching bag and breaking the hook within the first three punches, the bag making a dent as it hit the wall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky Barnes didn’t trust them</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s your favorite food?” Clint asked one day as the Avengers were going through their post-mission tradition of finding a fast food restaurant that was still open after their fight and eating enough to put themselves in a food coma for at least 24 hours. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat looked up, dipping a fry into the ketchup, “I like Italian food,” he said quietly, eating the fry them grabbing two more and repeating the process. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have heard that this ‘Italian food’ is a fine cuisine,” Thor said like it was very important they knew this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Steve likes to make Italian food,” Soldat mumbled, obviously unsure if it was ok to talk about his boyfriend with the other Avengers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Immediately, Natasha smiled softly at him. She was known for being secretive, it was a part of her that had been ingrained from a young age, so she knew how hard it was for Soldat to open up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s sweet,” she said, “Do you like it because he makes it, or do you just like it in general?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat shrugged, abandoning his fries, “I’ve always liked Italian, but Steve is really good at making it,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Avengers all stayed quiet as Soldat spoke, trying to get him to feel more comfortable around them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s your favorite thing he’s made?” Bruce asked, unwrapping the burger in front of him and watching Soldat carefully to make sure he hadn’t overstepped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat didn’t seem to mind, or he did a good job hiding it if he did mind, “He makes good ravioli,” he said, a little louder than his previous statements.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Natasha knew that further questioning would likely lead to Soldat closing off, thinking they were interrogating him, so she directed attention to Tony’s recent projects, something that the mechanic could talk about for hours.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky Barnes started to trust them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The mission they were currently on wasn’t a hard one by any standard, but it involved a lot of waiting. Soldat was a sniper, they knew, so that meant he was used to waiting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Apparently not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do we know when they’ll be here?” Soldat asked for the third time, sounding irritable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His behavior was strange, to say the least. Usually, Soldat stayed quiet on missions, only talking when he was passing on information or asking important questions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Natasha shrugged, “Not sure, it might be another hour or two for all we know. Why do you need to know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat huffed, leaning back onto the rock they were currently waiting next to in the forest near the HYDRA base. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stayed like that for a few minutes, but Natasha was also good at waiting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually, he spoke, “Steve is having some of his art shown in a gallery tonight, I wanted to be there to see it,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat sounded disappointed, more emotion than he had ever shown in front of her without Steve present. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Natasha thought for a minute, then turned on her coms, “Tony, do we need everyone on this mission?” she asked, ignoring Soldat’s confused expression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so, it’ll mainly be me and Thor doing the heavy lifting with the HYDRA weapons and Barton can cover us from a distance. Why? You need to be somewhere?” Tony responded, sounding bored. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something like that,” she answered, smirking at Soldat who looked like a confused dog, “Go support your boyfriend, we’ve got it covered,” she said, lightly shoving his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tried to protest, but Natasha just glared at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky Barnes decided that he trusted Natasha Romanov.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bruce was walking into his favorite coffee shop a couple of blocks away from Avengers tower. It was quiet there, and the place usually didn’t have many people. Add the comfy chairs, free wifi, and homemade coffee, and it was Bruce’s little safe space. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The baristas that worked there all knew him by name and they also knew his order (a cappuccino with extra cream) and they didn’t treat him like he was different, he was just a scientist who quietly worked on his laptop while he drank his coffee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What was unusual about today, was that he spotted a man that looked vaguely familiar lying in an alley with a bad bruise forming on his cheek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you ok?” Bruce asked, approaching the man and crouching down to get a better look at his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bruce might not be a medical doctor, but he knew enough basic first aid from helping the Avengers that he was pretty sure this was an injury he could deal with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man looked at him, his glasses askew and hair messed up, then he shrugged. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m alright, it’s nothing that hasn’t happened before,” he mumbled, sounding like getting beat up in an alley was a perfectly normal thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just then, Bruce’s brain made the connection. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re Steve, Soldat’s boyfriend,” he said, offering a hand to help him up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve smirked, looking pleased that Bruce had remembered, and got up, brushing off his jeans. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s me,” he muttered, wincing at he lightly pressed the blooming bruise on his cheek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here, let me,” Bruce said stepping forward and grabbing Steve’s face lightly to get a better look at the bruise, “It doesn’t look too bad, but you’ll be sore for a while. Just put some ice on it and try not to get into any more fights,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve grinned, “That’s not really my strong suit,” he said, making Bruce chuckle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see why Soldat likes you,” he held out his hand, “I don’t think we were properly introduced when you barged into his hospital room, I’m Bruce Banner,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Steve shook his hand, smiling softly, “Steve Rogers,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bruce was about to say something when someone rounded the corner quickly. Both of them turned around to see Soldat himself standing there, dressed in his black mission outfit, and looking </span>
  <em>
    <span>murderous</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who did this? Why are you here?” Soldat nearly growled at Bruce, stepping forward but stopping as Steve put his hand on Soldat’s arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bucky, I’m fine. Bruce was actually helping me, he found me a few minutes ago,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat didn’t look entirely convinced but he turned away from Bruce and looked at Steve, his face morphing into one of unparalleled concern and care. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you ok? That doesn’t look good, should you be standing up? Do you have a concussion-?” Steve rolled his eyes, putting a hand on Soldat’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, Bruce helped me, he said that it’s not that bad, I just need to put ice on it-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And stay away from fights,” Bruce cut in, smiling a little at the blonde man who rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that too,” Steve added, looking back at Soldat who still looked concerned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for looking after him, but I think I still think he should patch it up once we get home,” Soldat said to Bruce, gesturing to Steve’s bruise and actually looking grateful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bruce smiled a little, said goodbye, then walked into his coffee shop across the street to write a paper on his latest experiment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky Barnes decided that he trusted Bruce Banner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony was working on something in his lab, something he wasn’t really thinking about when there was a knock on the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let them in, JARVIS,” Tony said, typing some code into a computer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, Soldat stepped into the lab, looking very awkward and out of place as he stood in the middle of the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Terminator, how can I help you?” Tony asked, looking away from his computer for the first time in what he was sure was hours. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat looked over at him, a slight unease in his expression, “My arm’s been acting up, I was wondering if you could look at it,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony raised an eyebrow, wondering how bad it had gotten for Soldat to ask </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> for help. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, let me have a look,” Tony said, getting up and walking over to the man who still looked comically out of place for some reason. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He put his hands on the arm and started moving it around, asking Soldat if anything hurt when he moved it in certain directions, and taking note of when the arm resisted moving occasionally, even tough Soldat wasn’t doing anything. The fingers didn’t move either, something that was probably the biggest problem.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I can’t tell from that what’s wrong, but I have a few guesses,” Tony said, “JARVIS, please scan the arm and pull up an image,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>JARVIS scanned it and a hologram of Soldat’s arm appeared in front of the two of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See, here,” Tony said, zooming in on a part of the elbow and getting rid of the metal plates on top to expose the wiring, “It looks like one of the wired isn’t connected, and in a prosthetic this detailed and advanced - compared to usual prosthetics anyway - something as small as this can make the whole thing malfunction,” Tony explained, looking at the hologram and zooming in more on the wire. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you need to do?” Soldat asked, still a little uneasy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony thought, “Well, I’ll need to open up the arm to reconnect the wire, or make a new arm. Can you feel anything with the arm? Texture, temperature, or weight wise?” Tony asked, needing to know if he could just open up the arm right there or is they needed anesthesia. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat shook his head, “No, I can’t feel anything,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perfect, so we can just open it up and get it over with,” Tony grinned. He’d been wanting to get his hands on the arm for a while, and, of course, he would help Soldat, but he also just wanted to have a look at it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony removed that plates above the area where the wire in question was, grabbing some small pliers so he could move the wire around in the tiny space. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat didn’t make a noise as Tony carefully reattached the wire, but he did flex his fingers slightly, looking a little more at ease. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, that should be it,” Tony said, reattaching the plates (The arm was very user friendly, for some reason).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat looked almost surprised that Tony had done what he had promised and nothing more, making Tony confused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you looking like I just did something unexpected? That wasn’t very hard it fix-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t do anything else to it?” Soldat asked quietly, making Tony even more confused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? No! I might be the best with people, but I’d never do something without a person’s consent,” Tony sounded mildly offended that Soldat had even suggested that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat quickly backtracked, “No, it’s just that, most of the time HYDRA didn’t tell me what they were doing when they worked on the arm, I expected you to just do what you wanted, really,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tony was taken aback. Even the thought of having such little control over such big things in your life made Tony shiver. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, no, I do still have morals, contrary to popular belief,” Tony huffed, returning to his work as Soldat said goodbye and walked out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky Barnes decided that he trusted Tony Stark.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clint was chilling out in the kitchen, eating some snacks, when someone else entered. He was eating, so he didn’t bother to look up and see who it was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you eating that entire bag of chips?” Soldat’s voice registered in Clint’s brain, making him look over to see the man in question standing there in a plain shirt and jeans, something he’d never seen the man wear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yup, and you can’t judge me,” Clint said, stuffing his face with a few more chips (barbecue flavored)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat stood there for a second before saying, “What should I do for my anniversary?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clint looked over to him again, sitting up as a confused expression took over his features. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you asking me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No one else is here, and it’s next week,” Soldat looked helpless, which was more alarming to Clint than the man asking for help. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which anniversary are we talking about? Six months? A year?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One year,” Soldat said quietly, not meeting Clint’s eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clint grinned, “Well, you’re in luck, because I’ve had to plan my fair share of anniversary’s as a married man,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat raised an eyebrow. “You’re married?” he asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yup,” Clint said happily, finishing off the last few chips in the bag, “I have two kids, third one on the way. I don’t talk about them because I don’t want to put them in danger. I’m telling you because I’m pretty sure you know what that’s like,” Clint glanced at Soldat to see that he was nodding, almost absentmindedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, anniversary,” Clint smiled, “One year is a pretty big milestone, so you want to do something you guys enjoy. I spent my one year anniversary at a burger restaurant, then we came home and watched bad movies until we fell asleep. It was the best anniversary ever,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat smiled a little, like he was imagining something happy that Clint couldn’t see. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You mentioned that you and Steve like Italian food, maybe you can go to a restaurant, or one of you can cook. Isn’t he an art student? If he is, you can get him some supplies or something, I don’t know. But remember this: get flowers,” Clint said the last part with the most serious expression he could muster, it was almost comical. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat raised an eyebrow, “I imagine you’ve forgotten to get flowers before?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clint shivered, “It was the worst thing to ever happen to me, and I’ve been put under mind control,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Both of them talked for a few more minutes about what Soldat could do for his anniversary, before Soldat walked away, claiming to need to get some ‘stuff’ sorted out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky Barnes decided that he trusted Clint Barton.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thor liked training with his teammates, but he especially liked training with Soldat. The man was a great warrior, someone who could almost outwit him in battle, and also the person who’s strength neared his own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first time the two of them sparred, Thor used a replica of </span>
  <span>Mjölnir as to not have an unfair advantage against his teammate</span>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat was grace where Thor was brute strength, and their fight looked like a deadly dance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, Thor won their fight, just because he had the strength of a god where Soldat only had the strength of an enhanced human. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was very fun, my friend,” Thor said offering a hand to Soldat who was lying on the floor, both of them breathing hard. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat almost looked confused when Thor offered him a hand, but took it anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If Soldat had looked confused by the hand, he looked twice as confused when Thor helped him up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Soldat asked, voice low. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now it was Thor’s turn to look confused, “I was helping you get up, is that not a Midgarian custom?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat thought for a moment, “Usually, when I spar against people, we spar until one of us was passed out or too injured to continue,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thor’s face morphed from one of confusion to one of horror. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Midgaurians are truly cruel if that is that norm! On Asgard, we always help out brothers in arms, especially when we train. If you can’t depend on someone to help you during training, how can you depend on them in battle?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat thought over the words as Thor grabbed a bottle of water and tossed it to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you trust me in battle?” he asked as Thor grabbed his own water bottle and drank from it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thor smiled, “Of course, my friend, why else would I be training with you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat huffed out a laugh, taking a sip from the water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bucky Barnes decided that he trusted Thor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are we doing here, Soldat?” Tony asked as they entered the Avengers common area. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat didn’t look at any of them, just waited until the last person (Clint) had sat down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath, then spoke, “I didn’t trust any of you three months ago, when you met Steve. I was scared that you would judge me for dating a man, something I was told was a bad thing when I was younger. I was also scared that you would use Steve against me- even though I know now that it was an irrational fear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“However, I’ve started to trust you all now. So, I’m going to tell you why the last time I went to a hospital was 1937,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone in the room held their breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know that I’m ex-HYDRA, it was in my file, but the thing is, I didn’t choose to be HYDRA,” He breathed out shakily, then continued, “I was part of a group of soldiers in world war two, out focus was HYDRA and taking down HYDRA bases. I had been kidnapped by them earlier in the war, which is why I especially wanted to join. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We were trying to take down one of the big guys- the Red Skull also known as Johann Shmidt. To do that, we had to get on this train. It was a HYDRA train, and one of the agents got lucky, blasted a hole in the side of the train, and made me fall to my ‘death’. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I survived the fall, obviously, and was found by HYDRA. They had experimented on me during my previous imprisonment and the stuff they gave me kept me alive long enough for them to do it some more. My arm was shattered, so they replaced it with this one. They tortured me, wiped my mind, made me the perfect soldier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eventually, they started referring to me as The Soldier or Soldat. I was kept in cryo freeze unless they needed me so I never aged. And that was that. I killed for them for seventy years, not knowing what I was doing,” Soldat stopped to sigh, almost like he was remembering the events. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About two years ago, I was taken out of cryo freeze and they kept me out for almost a year. The people handling me were inexperienced, they didn’t know what voltage to use to wipe my mind, and I was able to slowly get some of my memories back. A little more than a year ago, I escaped, killing everyone in the base I was held at and taking all of their money,” His expression was stony, no emotion in the mask. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I made it back to the US, still half in my Soldier mindset, and wandered for about a week, sleeping in hotel rooms and trying to get all my memories back. I stopped by an art gallery, thinking that something might jog my mind when I met Steve. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was glaring at this one piece and I asked him why, he told me that he had met the artist and that the man was an asshole,” Soldat smiled fondly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was recruited by SHIELD about a month before the New York attack, and I’ve been with Steve ever since,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone was quiet, but not out of fear, shock, or disgust like Soldat had thought they would be. No, they all looked at him with sympathy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you went through that Soldat- or can we call you James?” Natasha asked sounding kinder than normal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soldat shook his head, smiling, “No, I never liked the name James, call me Bucky,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with that, Bucky Barnes decided to trust the Avengers.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! Please leave a kudos and/or comment :)</p><p>You can find updates about my stories/my life on social media!</p><p>Tumblr: rox-fanfics<br/>Instagram: rox_fanfics<br/>Twitter: rox_fanfics<br/>Tik Tok: rox_fanfics</p></blockquote></div></div>
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